Elvis is Alive --- And Running for President


June 12, 2005

How's that for an attention-getting headline? With 2 " high letters, it dominated the front page of the May 16, 2005, issue of the tabloid Weekly World News. I chuckled when I saw that their 'political writer' wrote it. It seems like it should have been their 'not-really-dead-rock-star writer.'

Elvis Running for President

He quickly disposed of the obvious question of Elvis Presley's whereabouts for the last 28 years. You see, Elvis was shipped out of the country in a crate and ended up in Australia, where he has worked incognito with missionaries for nearly three decades. Nice touch -- working with missionaries. Makes you proud of Elvis, doesn't it? But Elvis thinks politics and government in the US are a mess, he's unhappy with both parties, and he wants to make things right.

It's a pretty fun article to read, and, as they proclaim on the cover, "It's All True." Well, maybe not, if you believe the headline on the June 15, 1993, issue of the same magazine, which proclaimed, "ELVIS DEAD AT 58." I'll bet the publishers didn't think any Elvis fans would save back issues of the magazine and keep track of their stories over the years. Wrong. I did. The 1993 story is completely different. It had Elvis moving around, living in Florida, Arkansas, and Tennessee, before finally succumbing to a diabetic coma.

For some reason, the Running for President article had a small photo of the cover of an early 80's issue, which proclaimed "ELVIS IS ALIVE." All three cover pictures were altered photos of Elvis, and they show the Weekly World News is getting much better at doing this.

Elvis is Alive

The early 80's photo had Elvis completely bald on top, with long side hair down over his ears. It was so bad, he looked more like Larry of the Three Stooges.

Elvis Dead

The 1993 photo had Elvis with thinning hair on top, combed down in front, almost in bangs. Not a good look for him, at all.

The 2005 picture is great. Elvis has a full head of wavy salt-and-pepper hair, and he looks like a very handsome 70-year-old politician. This is a man who could get some votes. As soon as he gets back here from Australia, I'm going to sign up as a volunteer for his campaign.

Elvis For President